"Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all."
Pema Chödrön

How do you begin working "on yourself"? How do you approach transformation, finding the next step? One way to do it is to investigate your goals and intentions. They will help you determine your next step. You can fill in the gap between where you are now and where you want to go. It is a helpful approach. It is an approach that will keep you moving forward. Yet inevitably, it will limit you.

The reason why it will limit you is because you will stay within a familiar orbit, circling familiar thoughts, and concerning yourself with what you think should happen on your journey. I am not saying it is not useful, I am just saying it is limiting.

And if you are open to yourself, at some point you will come to feel this limitation. The known and familiar will not be what satisfies you, and then you are willing to look deeper or further.

And it will take you to a new place within.

A way to work "on yourself" is to consider "not knowing". The familiar sense of self, the conditioning accumulated from the past, can only repeat what it already has concluded is possible. It will only take you to some of the same results or patterns. Don't get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with setting goals, planning, strategizing, and outlining steps. They have their place within the framework of change. But to really move beyond the threshold of familiarity, say hello to "not knowing" as the access portal to a freshness that can only come when we don't cling to the familiar.

So at the beginning of a session let yourself just feel what is happening for you in this moment. Take a few breath, and get in touch with your body. Allow yourself to become aware and present to your sensations, the thoughts in the moments, any feelings or emotions that may occur. And just "empty your cup" for a moment...don't expect anything, just be open and inviting to what is happening for you in this very moment.

And it will not necessarily be easy in the beginning. Potentially, there could be pressure to change. To have a breakthrough. To not waste your time. To make the most out of your session time. All helpful thoughts. But on another level, they limit what wants to arise in the moment.

So let yourself be steeped in the unknown territory of development. Because when you do not have to direct what has to happen, you can start to relax in a deep way. There is room to grow and develop and to discover facets of yourself you didn't know where there.

It also doesn't push a certain result onto you. It gives you time to develop in an organic rhythm the way it is needed for you. It is spontaneously showing you what needs to be revealed, and will unravel the next steps in a way that feels aligned for you.

So not knowing is essential for transforming in a real meaningful and ongoing way. It is important to look into the reason's why we avoid not knowing, and learn to appreciate it more deeply. Not knowing is the doorway into our true nature and will open us to the many facets of our inherent potential and human capacity.